Parenting

Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School

Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School

  • Downloads：9120
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-03-30 09:11:52
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Michelle Icard
  • ISBN：0593137515
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
  • Download

Summary

The fourteen essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional， physical， and social challenges ahead， including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window。

Trying to convince a middle schooler to listen to you can be exasperating。 Indeed， it can feel like the best option is not to talk！ But keeping kids safe--and prepared for all the times when you can't be the angel on their shoulder--is about having the right conversations at the right time。 From a brain growth and emotional readiness perspective， there is no better time for this than their tween years， right up to when they enter high school。

Distilling Michelle Icard's decades of experience working with families， Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen focuses on big， thorny topics such as friendship， sexuality， impulsivity， and technology， as well as unexpected conversations about creativity， hygiene， money， privilege， and contributing to the family。 Icard outlines a simple， memorable， and family-tested formula for the best approach to these essential talks， the BRIEF Model: Begin peacefully， Relate to your child， Interview to collect information， Echo what you're hearing， and give Feedback。 With wit and compassion， she also helps you get over the most common hurdles in talking to tweens， including:

- What phrases invite connection and which irritate kids or scare them off
- The best places， times， and situations in which to initiate talks
- How to keep kids interested， open， and engaged in conversation
- How to exit these chats in a way that keeps kids wanting more

Like a Rosetta Stone for your tween's confounding language， Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen is an essential communication guide to helping your child through the emotional， physical， and social challenges ahead and， ultimately， toward teenage success。

Download

Reviews

Michelle ，

Excellent practical advice。 I especially appreciated the sample conversations， the “conversation crushers，” and the end of chapter recaps。

Bryn ，

I've heard Michelle speak four times now， and she has an illuminating and eminently do-able approach to parenting teenagers。 I've heard Michelle speak four times now， and she has an illuminating and eminently do-able approach to parenting teenagers。 。。。more

Mary ，

3。5It wasn’t bad。 I agreed with everything she said。 I just think much of it bordered on the obvious。

Thomas Beard ，

Very， very good。 This turned into an exercise in asking how I would apply a lot of the content， since I homeschool my children。 But all of the communication techniques and topics are timely for everyone， from technology to bullying to sex。 Strongly recommend to all parents。

Melissa ，

This book is really insightful！ As an elementary school teacher， I felt pretty confident about child development through the tween years -- but I definitely need some support to get our family through the teen years。 （I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。）

Rea Scott ，

This is so good！

Pj ，

Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book to read and review。The thing about parenting books is they often come off as sterile and made me feel like a failure。 The reality is we have to be able to laugh or we will never make it through parenthood。 I like the humor and common sense based approach Michelle takes in this book。 You can read straight through if that works for you or address different conversations。 I liked how she asks us to reframe our conversations。 Do a little digging an Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book to read and review。The thing about parenting books is they often come off as sterile and made me feel like a failure。 The reality is we have to be able to laugh or we will never make it through parenthood。 I like the humor and common sense based approach Michelle takes in this book。 You can read straight through if that works for you or address different conversations。 I liked how she asks us to reframe our conversations。 Do a little digging and find out what our kids is thinking and feeling。 It’s is so easy to try and fix it， call the other parent， email the teacher etc， but we are doing our children a disservice。 This is a time when they are building their independence and coping skills for high school/college/adulthood。 It think 14 Talks helps set up my brain to be the right-hand man in my kids’ lives。 I’m not make the decision for them。 I’m helping them get the job done under their direction。 。。。more

Michelle Riddell ，

Essential reading for parents of middle schoolers and beyond。 This book is full of wisdom， insight， and practical advice for keeping the lines of communication open。

Darynschwartz ，

I received an advance copy of this book。 And， I'm so grateful I had the chance to read this helpful guide。 （perfect timing！） I consider myself a conversationalist。 And can relate and talk to almost anyone。。。except for my two teenage sons！ Talking with them and approaching them about important topics can feel daunting。 This communications guide provided a lot of food for thought for how to approach ongoing， meaningful communication with my teens。 I can't wait to try some of Michelles' suggestions I received an advance copy of this book。 And， I'm so grateful I had the chance to read this helpful guide。 （perfect timing！） I consider myself a conversationalist。 And can relate and talk to almost anyone。。。except for my two teenage sons！ Talking with them and approaching them about important topics can feel daunting。 This communications guide provided a lot of food for thought for how to approach ongoing， meaningful communication with my teens。 I can't wait to try some of Michelles' suggestions。 。。。more

Courtney ，

I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of this book and I cannot recommend it enough！ It’s amazing when you are expecting how many books there are about infants and toddlers and I’ve been waiting for something to help with my tween/teen and this is it。 This book helped me shift how I am communicating with my daughter and has gotten me out of the lecture and manager role （which let’s be honest doesn’t work）。 Looking forward to continuing the conversations with her and making my husband read it I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of this book and I cannot recommend it enough！ It’s amazing when you are expecting how many books there are about infants and toddlers and I’ve been waiting for something to help with my tween/teen and this is it。 This book helped me shift how I am communicating with my daughter and has gotten me out of the lecture and manager role （which let’s be honest doesn’t work）。 Looking forward to continuing the conversations with her and making my husband read it too 。。。more

Rachel ，

Do you have someone who was really pivotal in getting you through a particular parenting stage？ Author Michelle Icard has been an integral part of my parenting "team" for several years！ Several years ago， when my oldest girls were entering middle school， I read her wonderful book， Middle School Makeover。 How I approached parenting my young teens completely shifted based on how Michelle framed it for me。 I felt so much better equipped to navigate the teen years with competence and compassion。 Mic Do you have someone who was really pivotal in getting you through a particular parenting stage？ Author Michelle Icard has been an integral part of my parenting "team" for several years！ Several years ago， when my oldest girls were entering middle school， I read her wonderful book， Middle School Makeover。 How I approached parenting my young teens completely shifted based on how Michelle framed it for me。 I felt so much better equipped to navigate the teen years with competence and compassion。 Michelle Icard just published her second book， Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen， and it is phenomenal！ Just like her first book， it's full of practical tips and conversations and those savvy tricks we parents need to have in our back pockets。 The author covers it ALL。 She is reassuring and witty and so smart。 As a clinician who works with teens， and as a parent who now has three teenagers and a tween， I HIGHLY recommend this book to every single parent。I'm fairly selective with what I consider to be my essential go-to books for parenting & parenting psychology （and which books get a 5-star on Goodreads）。 Fourteen Talks definitely earns its place on the shelf。 Time to dive in and brush up on parenting your teenager！ （And we need ALL THE HELP during pandemic life！） 。。。more

Quinn ，

I read this book - for middle school parents - even though my child is a young adult because I know Michelle offers excellent advice in a way that is easy to understand and implement。 She did not disappoint！ Her book was easy to read， but could be a deeper dive in areas that I needed more detail。 I've tested some of her tips on my guinea pig， I mean son， and they work。 He was more open to better conversation when I eased in （just one of the tips）。 These conversation tools are so helpful I read this book - for middle school parents - even though my child is a young adult because I know Michelle offers excellent advice in a way that is easy to understand and implement。 She did not disappoint！ Her book was easy to read， but could be a deeper dive in areas that I needed more detail。 I've tested some of her tips on my guinea pig， I mean son， and they work。 He was more open to better conversation when I eased in （just one of the tips）。 These conversation tools are so helpful 。。。more

Margot ，

I gotta start by admitting that I'm somewhat partial to this book， not because I received it as an ARC， but because for the past year Michelle Icard's Facebook group has been life-saving and eye-opening and anxiety-soothing and just an overall fun place to hang around in and learn a lot！ （If you haven't joined yet， you should！）I have a 10 year-old gifted daughter and she is an only child， grandchild， niece， great-niece。。。 you get the picture。 There are no other children in our family and because I gotta start by admitting that I'm somewhat partial to this book， not because I received it as an ARC， but because for the past year Michelle Icard's Facebook group has been life-saving and eye-opening and anxiety-soothing and just an overall fun place to hang around in and learn a lot！ （If you haven't joined yet， you should！）I have a 10 year-old gifted daughter and she is an only child， grandchild， niece， great-niece。。。 you get the picture。 There are no other children in our family and because she has always been precotious it's easy to forget she is a child。 But my momma-bear's heart also wants her to stay a child for as long as possible。 Not gonna happen。 Kids grow and problems grow with them。 And if we want to， we can grow with them， not apart from them。 The transition from childhood to teenager years doesn't have to mean conflict and distance， but when it does mean that， than we as parents better be prepared to deal with it in the best way。 What this book has taught me， above all else， is that it's never too soon to start laying the foundations from which a healthy relationship with our children will be built but also that it's never too late。 It's a work in progress， an every day task made up of little things， it's the big moments， it's the tough conversations， EVERYTHING matters。 Our ultimate goal being raising healthy， kind and happy kids， it's our duty and privilege to guide them through these difficult years。This book is amazing in the sense that it opened up different perspectives while simultaneously making me feel I haven't been doing such a bad job all things considered。 And if anyone fears that this book might not resonate with them because they are living a different reality， then I'm here to tell you that I don't even live in the US， we aren't even american， and still it resonated。 After all， parenting struggles and the love for our children are universal！ 。。。more

Tina Andersen ，

I found this book incredibly helpful。 I've always been one to have plenty of important dialog with my daughter。 But having read this book I realized I was missing the how to's。 My important talks were becoming nag sessions。 Fourteen talks not only reminded me what to talk about but how to do so。 And in a fun easy to remember manor。 Because when tempers get heated it's important to have a go to tool kit in your pocket。 Add this book to your parenting tool kit。 And if you haven't already read Midd I found this book incredibly helpful。 I've always been one to have plenty of important dialog with my daughter。 But having read this book I realized I was missing the how to's。 My important talks were becoming nag sessions。 Fourteen talks not only reminded me what to talk about but how to do so。 And in a fun easy to remember manor。 Because when tempers get heated it's important to have a go to tool kit in your pocket。 Add this book to your parenting tool kit。 And if you haven't already read Middle School Makeover by this same author- another home run！ 。。。more

Liana ，

Some of the topics in this book are what you might expect from a book about talking with your tween/teen - sexuality， technology， money。 Others are less obvious - creativity， fairness， hard work。 I love that the author takes such a holistic approach to teen development， focusing as much on creating positive habits as mitigating risky behaviors。 The talks are also not overly prescriptive， providing just enough guidance for you to speak to your child without sounding too scripted。

Kari Beery ，

I love Michelle's voice and knowledge！ As the mother of two tween daughters， this book provides such amazing insight， humor ， and application。 In those moments when my parenting tool box is incomplete， Michelle provides helpful， concrete， and scripted tools to help with scenarios playing out in my home。 Her book empowered me to listen more to my child， breathe easier during the process， and embed skills that lead to independence and confidence。 Thank you， Thank you， Thank you！ I love Michelle's voice and knowledge！ As the mother of two tween daughters， this book provides such amazing insight， humor ， and application。 In those moments when my parenting tool box is incomplete， Michelle provides helpful， concrete， and scripted tools to help with scenarios playing out in my home。 Her book empowered me to listen more to my child， breathe easier during the process， and embed skills that lead to independence and confidence。 Thank you， Thank you， Thank you！ 。。。more

Alisia ，

I received a complimentary copy of this book through Netgalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。As a parent of a middle schooler， I have been eagerly looking forward to Michelle Icard's follow-up to Middle School Makeover。 In 14 Talks by Age 14， she gives loads of practical， useful wisdom on how to broach some of the most difficult topics that come up in adolescence。 The BRIEF model she uses provides a great framework for starting a discussion， with the flexibility to ada I received a complimentary copy of this book through Netgalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。As a parent of a middle schooler， I have been eagerly looking forward to Michelle Icard's follow-up to Middle School Makeover。 In 14 Talks by Age 14， she gives loads of practical， useful wisdom on how to broach some of the most difficult topics that come up in adolescence。 The BRIEF model she uses provides a great framework for starting a discussion， with the flexibility to adapt to your own family's needs。 While much of what was discussed are things we already do， reading this book definitely helped identify the weak spots where my spouse and I could do better！ I highly recommend to anyone who is looking to build or maintain two-way dialogue with their tween or teen， built on trust rather than just lecturing them。 。。。more

Mary Crowe ，

Wow！ This book was just what I needed as my daughter turned 14！ Michelle gives practical advice in such a familiar way- lots like a chat with another mom friend。 She breaks things down in simple steps using analogies to help parents remember （ and use） her advice in the heat of the moment。 I especially liked her analogy with the racket ball court！ Thanks， Michelle！！

Alana ，

Well worth your time！ I love this book！ So many clearly laid out， real-life parenting strategies！ I loved the idea that when your kids move into middle school parents need to consciously move from a managerial role to an assistant manager role， so that by the time their kids reach high school they they already have some confidence in their own problem solving abilities。 Icard's writing is funny and super relatable and offers clear instructions for dealing with all manner of middle school drama！ Well worth your time！ I love this book！ So many clearly laid out， real-life parenting strategies！ I loved the idea that when your kids move into middle school parents need to consciously move from a managerial role to an assistant manager role， so that by the time their kids reach high school they they already have some confidence in their own problem solving abilities。 Icard's writing is funny and super relatable and offers clear instructions for dealing with all manner of middle school drama！ 。。。more

Carla ，

I highly recommend this book for anyone parenting a child between third and seventh grades。 Michelle Icard gives practical advice， keeps it real， and understands the challenging conversations that will happen in these formative years of growth。 As an educator of middle grades kids， I understand the things kids will have to face as they navigate social and physical change。 This book hits them all， and the suggestions she gives will empower both kids and their parents to communicate their needs， f I highly recommend this book for anyone parenting a child between third and seventh grades。 Michelle Icard gives practical advice， keeps it real， and understands the challenging conversations that will happen in these formative years of growth。 As an educator of middle grades kids， I understand the things kids will have to face as they navigate social and physical change。 This book hits them all， and the suggestions she gives will empower both kids and their parents to communicate their needs， fears， and joys。 。。。more

Kimberly Barnes ，

The book Fourteen Talks by Age 14 is a book that every parent of a teen or preteen should read。 It is filled with straightforward advice on how to build and maintain an open communication relationship with your child。 Parenting a teenager today is fraught with many concerns and issues that were not faced by parents in the past including: social media， bullying， and increased use of drugs。 This book explores and explains about how to have those difficult conversations with your child in order to The book Fourteen Talks by Age 14 is a book that every parent of a teen or preteen should read。 It is filled with straightforward advice on how to build and maintain an open communication relationship with your child。 Parenting a teenager today is fraught with many concerns and issues that were not faced by parents in the past including: social media， bullying， and increased use of drugs。 This book explores and explains about how to have those difficult conversations with your child in order to help him/her through the teenage years。 The communication style presented by this book is called the BRIEF model。 The steps are as follows: begin peacefully， relate to your child， interview， echo， and feedback。 These steps are clearly explained and easy to follow。 As explained in the book， the foundation of having better conversations with your teen is earning trust and building support。 There are so many helpful tips to communicating with your teen including: conversation crashers， how to talk to your child about fun stuff， how to have rewarding conversations with your teen。 So many important conversational topics are explored in this book and examined through role plays and examples including: friendship， money， independence， taking care of yourself， fairness， and sexuality。 I highly recommend this book to all parents of pre-teens and teens。 Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this advanced review copy for my honest review。 。。。more

Saira ，

This was an enjoyable， practical book that was easy to read and put in place。 Some of the suggestions may seem a bit obvious。 But she approaches them in a way that is a little different and forces you to think about the middle schooler's perspective。 I would suggest getting it and keeping the ideas in your back pocket for when you need them。Note， I got an advance copy free to review This was an enjoyable， practical book that was easy to read and put in place。 Some of the suggestions may seem a bit obvious。 But she approaches them in a way that is a little different and forces you to think about the middle schooler's perspective。 I would suggest getting it and keeping the ideas in your back pocket for when you need them。Note， I got an advance copy free to review 。。。more

Courtney ，

Having been a middle school teacher for twenty years I knew this book would be filled with plenty of wisdom that I had already picked up on。 As a parent of an eleven and fourteen year old I read it anyway。 I'm so glad I did。 We've had some very difficult conversations with my daughter over the last six months or so and I know that we have more ahead of us with her as well as with my son。 Michelle Icard's BRIEF model is a valuable tool to use and easy to remember so I expect to put it into good u Having been a middle school teacher for twenty years I knew this book would be filled with plenty of wisdom that I had already picked up on。 As a parent of an eleven and fourteen year old I read it anyway。 I'm so glad I did。 We've had some very difficult conversations with my daughter over the last six months or so and I know that we have more ahead of us with her as well as with my son。 Michelle Icard's BRIEF model is a valuable tool to use and easy to remember so I expect to put it into good use。 I loved her real-world examples and I love that the model is flexible enough to only use the parts necessary in a given situation。 I would recommend this book to anyone that wants to create an open two-way dialogue with their kids instead of the automatic one-way lectures we so commonly steer towards。 。。。more

Sarah Ingoldsby ，

3。5 stars， but rounded up because the ideas were really helpful。 I thought it was interesting and gave good ideas on how to start having conversations with a tween。 Some things were really obvious， but there were definitely some suggestions that were really helpful in starting a tougher conversation。 It gave me some really good ideas for having conversations with my daughter。*I got an advanced copy of this book for free to review。 Opinions are all my own。 :）

Ada-Marie ，

I enjoyed this book！ So many good pointers for parents who may think their kids are the only ones challenged by the bizarre underbelly of middle school。 Thank you to the author， publisher， and Net Galley for the advance digital copy！ #FourteenTalksbyAgeFourteen #NetGalley

Jennifer Caloyeras ，

I feel like I read this book just in time as my oldest son will turn fifteen in a few months。 The middle school years are a significant milestone in a child’s life and Michelle Icard does a beautiful job illuminating many of the complexities that middle grade-aged children go through。 Her main thesis is that there are fourteen talks she implores readers to have with their children with the undercurrent of before it’s too late。 I appreciate how the sections were broken down into palatable bites: I feel like I read this book just in time as my oldest son will turn fifteen in a few months。 The middle school years are a significant milestone in a child’s life and Michelle Icard does a beautiful job illuminating many of the complexities that middle grade-aged children go through。 Her main thesis is that there are fourteen talks she implores readers to have with their children with the undercurrent of before it’s too late。 I appreciate how the sections were broken down into palatable bites: changing friendships， sexuality， criticism and technology， to name a few。 I came away from this read with concrete ways in which to start sometimes challenging conversations with my children as well as precisely what not to say。 Michelle Icard has made me feel less hesitant to have these important conversations sooner， rather than later。 And I am going to listen， armed with all of the wonderful knowledge imparted on me from this fantastic resource。 Thank you to Rodale Inc。 and NetGalley for the advanced review copy of the book。 。。。more

Katie ，

"I received a complimentary copy of this book through NetGalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。"It provided good information， but seemed overly thorough。 Maybe that is what another parent needs， but it was overkill for me personally。 "I received a complimentary copy of this book through NetGalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。"It provided good information， but seemed overly thorough。 Maybe that is what another parent needs， but it was overkill for me personally。 。。。more

Kady ，

Loved this book。 My kids aren't quite to this age yet， but I will be buying a copy to have on hand when they do。 Her teachings make so much sense to me。 Loved this book。 My kids aren't quite to this age yet， but I will be buying a copy to have on hand when they do。 Her teachings make so much sense to me。 。。。more

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0